"Old wounds, not scars" from 18.11.15

I am scratching up old wounds and simply staring at the blood that pools.

Surely soon, I will feel the pain that I am so clearly digging for. It will come and I can numb it out with my decided ignorance. I can numb it out of my life again.

I shouldn't've pulled at my scars. I should've known that they weren't really scars, just cuts in my skin that I chose to ignore. I should've just lived in bliss and pretended they never existed. 

Now that I've grown, I can see that simply ignoring them won't work again. They'll just become easier and easier to break open again until their sharp sting is all I ever feel.

If I let it fester, it will take over that which I have built since then on it's feeble ruins.

This time I need to air it out and let the fresh water sting it so I can be free of its hold on me.