"Dear..." from 20.08.15

Dear boy I may have liked,

The truth is, I felt second best.

Picking up on me mere weeks after being turned down by my best friend made me feel like a reluctant second third fourth choice. You might not have meant it that way, but you used all the same lines and played all the same games. And I felt like maybe you only liked me because you wanted a relationship.

Which I do want one, a relationship. Just maybe, further in the future. (i.e Not after you’ve only noticed my existence for three weeks). But before I need a boyfriend, I need a best friend. (You know this. I told you and explained it to you. I can really see that it stuck.)

But those aren’t the only reasons.

The main reason I’m no longer “in like” with you is because when I turned you down, casually, politely and without a sliver of disdain, you shut me out. Permanently.

Why don’t we talk anymore? I still want to be friends! 

Mostly, I don’t like that if I’m not your girlfriend, I’m not anything to you at all.

with lots of love like regards confusion,

Me.