Culture stress is now a murderer
The temptation of outside its cruel accomplice
How can you learn to function in a world you must ever resist?
For who enjoys the cage after the skies?
You were once free
You are once again free now
Those that are left here are but constrained further
I feel further from my surroundings than ever before
As though only that which I touch lives
All else just a kind background illusion
Do I yet live?
Not at the present
I am trapped by petty circumstance until it restrains me no longer
So I yet wait for life to reclaim my burden
And return me to my rightful post in freedom
You have yours at a price
I am not willing to pay that other than simple time
So I yet wait.
Do you ever see something you just know you shouldn't?
Do you go looking for it?
Somewhere inside, you know it will only cause you pain, but you search for it anyway.
Seeing it doesn't help. The curiosity just grows into soul-destroying pain, something much worse. If the curiosity was a sting, this destruction is like a body that has been battered and crushed and bruised. It is a constant ache that can be ignored, but never fully adjusted to. It drains your life.
We don't often make good choices without experience. We can learn from a textbook, but until you see your own incorrect spelling, you will not learn that word correctly.
I did not do well.
I thought I was above what I did.
I regret that.
But my past mistakes remain unchangeable.
So let my guilt be my burden and weigh me not down with the rocks of your spite or frustration, I beg you. You need not listen to my pleas; my choice has set the lines in the sand. But I can try. Indicatively, my simple "trying" does not cut it.
I'm afraid I have nothing else to offer.
