That was the first moment I wondered what could could possibly be so bad that she was running to a trash-heap base like the 51st bunker, set on the outskirts of a dense forest, almost unreachable. I considered welcoming her, but she shied away from those who approached her, carefully evading their touch.
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I studied her face for weeks. There were no obvious signs of any virus, but she never touched another person, always whipping just out of reach at the last second with a forced laugh. She smiled at everyone and never spoke crassly, but always of inconsequential matters, always leaving decided distance between herself and others; her smiles were always calculated and removed. She accepted solo jobs only and whenever possible, she slipped out under the cover of nightfall, disappearing into the trees.
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I followed her outside following a heated argument between two of the higher ranking members concerning her presence. I reached for her wrist, running to catch up with her seemingly erratic path. I could almost feel her soft skin between my fingers before she pulled it from my reach, the air whipping against my arm, a soft gasp escaping her chapped and flaking lips. Her widened eyes slowly gave way to relief and then frustrated fire.
"Don't you dare pull a stunt like this again," she hissed. Her breath smelled like of faded mint, as though it was just a memory and tickled my face.
She turned on her heel and stalked into the dense bushland.
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She didn't appear back at the 51st bunker for three days, and when she finally returned, she brought back a scar as a souvenir, peeking out of the neckline of her shirt on her shoulder.
The next time I saw her, she was just beyond the limits of the 51st bunker, hissing at a crouched figure on the ground. They were curled over like they'd been winded and coughed lightly.
She swiped at their face and they flinched away, mirroring her movements on the day I had reached for her wrist. She grabbed at their face and the figure wailed as her hands held their chin. She stared into their face, her eyes glowering. They stood like that for minutes, with the figure's body occasionally shaking as they coughed. She hissed at them again before dragging them further into the forest, ignoring their howls of protest.
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"I know what you've done," I whisper as I pass by her in the bunker. I stand close enough to her that my breath blows her hair and she leans away slightly.
"You have no idea what you saw," her usually agreeable expression turns dour and she points at the door expectantly.
I walk out into the muggy night, feeling her follow far enough behind me so as to stay just out of reach.
"I have come here to start fresh and the more you dig into my business, the more difficult you make that," her eyes fading into a desperate pleading.
"Maybe you shouldn't have brought it with you," I fold my arms and she huffs. I take this chance to grab at her hand, curiosity taking control of my actions. She moves to escape but not fast enough. I make contact fleetingly.
It feels as though someone is rifling through my memories, picking out flashes of specifically her in my mind. Even dreams that I had since forgotten of her grabbing my face like she had the figure in the forest are pulled back to the surface of my consciousness as she grabs back at my retracted hand. In some of my dreams, she kisses me; in others I taste blood in my mouth before blacking out.
She releases my hand and shakes her head, the dark circles under her eyes more defined than I had ever seen. I fall into a heap on the ground as she walks back to the bunker, leaving me alone with the buzzing noise of my brain. My mind feels like someone was trespassing and read all my secrets. I hold myself close.
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She disappears for another couple of days before returning and packing her possessions with practised ease. The ranking members speak with her in hushed tones. I pick up my small bag of items, leaving the ones I had borrowed from the common store for someone else to clean up. She hoists her bag onto her back and traipses out the door without goodbyes. I follow.
"You never explained what happened," I yell after her, running to catch up.
"That was never part of my plan," she laughs, turning to face me.
"Where are you going?"
"To start somewhere new."
"Isn't that what you were supposed to be doing here?"
"I didn't count on nosy girls caring about strange girls more than they should."
"Let me come with you."
She laughs and I have to jog to keep up with her long strides. "You're not like anyone else I've ever met," she eventually settles on.
My curiosity swells.
"No one else seems to want to hang around after I've had a poke around in their head," she continues.
"I want to get to know you better."
"Most people only care about what I know about them. It's hard to trust someone who can know everything you think, but could still lie to your face undetected."
I keep up with her pace. "I'm not giving up on this lonely girl."
She pushes through some bushes until we reach a pathway. "I guess I can't really stop you following me."
I walk next to her and steel my nerves before curling my hand into hers. She jumps with surprise, eyes wide.
"You know I'm not lying when I say I just want to know you better."
Her eyes squeeze shut, as though savouring the moment. I feel her involuntarily search through my thoughts again. The image of me kissing her flashes in my head and I blush. "You know it's not that simple," she whispers.
"I guess I should at least take you out for dinner first."
She manages a laugh and squeezes my hand. I can still feel her in my head but it's as though she's chosen just to sit down and watch it all happen around her than go looking for something. "Maybe we should just start at the beginning then," she says.
I squeeze her hand back.
